The summer holiday is just around the corner – and for separated or divorced parents, this time of year can bring a unique set of challenges.
Whether you’re juggling time off work, trying to make holiday plans, or navigating different parenting expectations, getting organised early can help make a big difference. That’s why we’ve created a free, fillable Summer Parenting Schedule – to help you to plan ahead, to reduce stress and conflict, along with some helpful tips to make the holidays feel more manageable, and enjoyable, for you and your children.
1. Start Early – Give Yourself Time To Plan
It’s important to start thinking about the summer holiday as early as possible. It may be tempting to put off difficult conversations with your ex-partner, but the earlier you start planning the less stressful it will be. Giving yourselves time means fewer last minute panics and more opportunity to work through disagreements before they become flashpoints.
Download our fillable Summer Parenting Schedule template and start plotting what you already know such as who will be looking after the children on each day, when any holidays have been booked, activity clubs, birthday parties, sports days, assemblies and other events they wish to attend, some of which you may attend alone, but others you may both want to attend.
2. Map Out the Non-Negotiables First
Before talking to your ex, add in the things you know are fixed, birthdays, holidays, clubs, assemblies for example and then share the draft with your ex so they can do the same.
Once you’ve both added your known plans, you’ll have a good starting point to discuss shared childcare and time with each parent.
3. Keep Your children’s Needs Front and Centre
Having a clear plan will give your children security – they will know where they’ll be and when, helping to reduce any anxiety. Where possible, try to involve extended family too. If grandparents or relatives are happy to help, that may be preferable to placing your child into unfamiliar childcare.
Remember – avoid involving children in your disagreements – they will often be able to pick up on conflict even if nothing is said directly.
4. Talk To Your Ex (Without The Kids Around)
Depending on your relationship, this can often feel like the hardest thing to do, but it’s important to remember this is about making it right for the children.
It may help you feel more comfortable if you meet your ex to sort out plans in a neutral place, such as a café, or in the park, or perhaps you could arrange to do it over the phone or online. But wherever and however you decide to meet, do it without the children present, so that they are not affected if the conversation becomes tense.
Start with what you already agree on, then work through the tricker parts together. Breaking things into smaller chunks can help avoid feeling overwhelmed – and make reaching agreement more likely.
5. Be Flexible – Plans Change
You and your ex-partner will both want to make memories with your children. That means compromise will often be needed. If you ex needs to swap days or change a plan, try to show the same flexibility you would want in return. A little goodwill can go a long way.
6. Avoid Making Promises You Can’t Keep
As you start talking to your children about their wishes for the summer, be careful not to make any promises until you have a clear understanding of how your summer schedule will work. Your children will be excited about the possibility of days out and holidays but remember it’s important to talk to your ex about these plans before making any promises so you avoid the look of disappointment on their faces when your ideas and plans don’t come to fruition.
7. Planning To Going Abroad? Get Consent First
Whilst it’s not illegal to take your children on holiday within the UK without the other parent’s consent, this isn’t the case when you take your children out of the country. If you’re planning a holiday abroad, you must get consent from anyone with parental responsibility. That’s usually both parents, but it can include others if a court has made a specific order.
It’s best to have this conversation early, well before you book. Your ex may have concerns about being apart from the children, it may make them feel anxious that their children will be in a different country to them, so consider arranging a regular time for them to communicate with the children whilst you are away.
8. Still Struggling to Agree on parenting during the summer holiday? Mediation Can Help
If you’re finding it hard to agree on a summer parenting plan support is available.
Family mediation offers a safe, neutral space to work through issues together. Mediators help keep the conversation constructive and child-focused, and many parents find that even one or two sessions can make a big difference.
You may also be eligible for £500 towards the cost through the Government’s Family Mediation Voucher Scheme.
Find out more about how mediation works here.
Ready to Get Started?
Planning ahead now means less stress, fewer arguments and more time to enjoy the summer with your children.
👉 Download our free Summer Parenting Schedule to start shaping your plans.
And if you need support, our friendly team of mediators are here to help you work through things — so you can focus on making memories, not managing conflict. You can also sign up to our newsletters to receive further information and additional advice, tips and practical tools, designed to support you in managing these challenges and moving forward.