It can be a challenge if your ex doesn’t want to try mediation to reach a settlement when you’re separating. It’s difficult in the heat of a conflict to think about trying to negotiate together to get things sorted.
It can seem easier to try to trigger a legal battle that is ultimately going to be far more expensive, more stressful and take much, much longer. But mediation can only work when both people agree to attend.
If your ex–partner won’t initially agree to mediate you can try asking them to attend an appointment on their own to start with. This can help avoid the tensions of facing each other. Your ex can then find out how it all works and make an informed decision about if it is right for them because they’ll have more information.
Most people are naturally quite anxious before they start mediation, but the huge majority of those who do go ahead and try it are greatly relieved that they did. They are often also surprised at the way they were able to finally make agreements and decisions on things that had previously felt it would be impossible to sort.