If your parents are going through a separation or divorce, you will want to know how it will affect you and what you can do about it.
You may feel uncertain about your future, and you may find it hard to share your worries with your parents because you know that are also going through big changes in their lives.
The most important thing is not to panic, and to know this is not your fault. You can’t really change their situation. But it can be very helpful to try to let them know how you feel about things.
Even though this might not be easy to talk about this to them, it is important that your parents understand that this is affecting the way you feel as well. Very often family mediation helps parents make decisions that put their child’s interests first, so you could ask them to try family mediation.
At National Family Mediation, we understand the effect divorce or separation has on children and know that you too will have some worries and concerns about what the future holds.
In mediation your parents will discuss what life will be like after they separate. That will involve talking about you, where you will live and how you will continue to see both of your parents. They may ask you what you think and it is fine to tell them. Try to say the same thing to both of them.
If you find it difficult to talk to your parents at this time, and that is quite common, it is a good idea to find someone else to talk to: A grandparent, a teacher at school or a family friend. If your parents are in family mediation ask them if you can be involved. You can have an opportunity to talk to the mediator and tell them how you feel about the changes that are taking place. The mediator will help you get your point of view across to your parents if you feel they aren’t listening. Tell your parents you want to be included in the mediation.
Remember, things will get better. Parents rarely stay angry with each other for ever and mediation will help them move on with their lives as separated parents. They both love you however hard it may be for them to show you that sometimes. Many children grow up with separated parents and you will probably be able to talk to other people your age about their circumstances. Just remember that everyone is different. Make sure you look after yourself and if you find yourself worrying find someone to talk to. Even if it is just a mate!