Marriage and partnerships can be strong bonds so it is hardly surprising that the effect of breaking those bonds can be devastating. We may not have expected it, meant it to happen or have been able to prevent it.

Losing a Close Adult Relationship

Losing a close adult relationship takes away part of ourselves, just as much as any other loss.

It can shake us to the core, making us behave uncharacteristically because the centre has fallen out of the lives we had constructed.

We may yearn for and miss the daily closeness of a continued exchanged of experience and feeling.

We may feel and appear not the same people for quite a while.

It may be a shock to find relief as well as pain.

Marriage/Relationship breakdown can produce:

The two adult parents are almost certain to have an array of feelings in relation to themselves, their partner, and their torn relationship, including loss and uncertainty, failure, envy and jealousy, relief and also blame. The loss of what was previously felt to be a secure attachment in our lives, strikes at the very heart of all human beings, and shakes the very foundations. Hard enough to put into words the feelings being experienced, harder still to put our own feelings to one side and try to be sensitive and caring towards the feelings of the actual children living under our roof who are wondering what lies in store as their own lives are being turned upside down.

It is like a Bereavement

It is like a Bereavement but it has none of the comforts of bereavement.

There are no funerals, customs, support, no sermon valuing the person gone and nurturing the one left behind.

The family members may feel different things at different times.

The one who is leaving may feel different from the one left and children feel a mixture of things, often unable to say or know how they feel.

AND YET, parents have to make decisions and be parents even when thrown off balance and in turmoil.