Coping through the early days

Grief is an important part of the divorce process, and awareness of the stages of grief can help you through the process. When a partner dies there is a set ritual, a funeral and acceptance that grieving is natural; for divorce, grief may not be acknowledged or accepted and there is no set ritual, although some people may latch on to the court process in place of this.

You may both be at very different stages of the grief process; often the one who decides to leave has already experienced many of the feelings associated with grief and loss before leaving the relationship, whereas the other person has still to experience them.

There are many losses that occur when a relationship ends: the loss of being part of a family; the loss of a partner; the loss of future plans and goals as a couple; the role as a husband, wife or lover; and the status of being part of a couple.

In the early days, it is important to use your support mechanisms – family and/or friends who can help you get through each day. If they can do that without getting involved, that will be even better in the long run. When you both feel ready to make some decisions about the future, that’s the time to get in touch with a family mediator.

Read more about the 7 questions to ask before you separate, important facts to consider before you do and practical steps to take.

NFM is a network of professional family mediation providers based in England and Wales that work with families affected by relational breakdown. All providers aim to help clients achieve an outcome that works best for them and their family

If you would like to get more information about mediation and/or make an appointment you can contact NFM direct on 0300 4000 636 or you can also contact a NFM family mediation provider in your area.

All services also take referrals from Solicitors, the court or other helping / support agencies.

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