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Help me, I'm a parent

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Separation and the impact on children can be very complex. Children, as well as parents, feel the stress and confusion.

Many kids feel angry, sad and frustrated about the prospect of their parents splitting up and are uncertain what life will be like afterwards. Your ability to: 

  • communicate successfully with your child
  • meet their needs for safety and support
  • take care of yourself, and
  • maintain a civil relationship with your ex

will all have a positive effect on your child. Given the right support, your child will be able express their feelings, grieve their loss, and emerge from this unsettling time a stronger, more resilient person.

Children love their parents. Family mediation helps parents stay in touch with their children because it increases their ability to communicate with each other.

That doesn't mean parents have to get on with each other after they separate. It does mean they have to find a different way of co-parenting as separated parents.

One study, which looked at separated parents' relationships with their children over a 12-year period, found that parents who went to mediation rather than court when they divorced had significantly better long term relationships with their children.

If you are seeking family mediation please use this link to go to our family mediation referral form

Children don't like to take sides and our mediators don't take sides either. All our mediators are trained to talk to children whose parents are going through divorce and it may help them and you, as parents, to make use of this child consultation service.

If you are planning for the future, National Family Mediation can provide the information you might need. 

Download a Parenting Plan Booklet

Further Information for Parents

It is important to keep your children informed at every stage of your separation process. You are not protecting them by keeping things from them.

Tell your children what is happening. They don't need every detail, but they do need to know what is going on. They may not wish to be involved in making decisions, but most children will still want to feel they are being listened to. Encourage your children to ask questions and give them honest and reassuring answers. If something is not yet decided, then say so and reassure them that you will tell them as soon as you can.

Co-parenting following separation, divorce or a dissolution of a civil partnership can be tricky and challenging. Your ability to communicate successfully with your child , meet their needs, for safety and support  take care of yourself, and maintain a civil relationship with your ex-partner will have a positive effect on your child.

You might also find the 'Mum and Dad' smartphone app useful. Find out more here

Articles in this section include:

When parents separate they both remain responsible for the care and financial support of their children. Most parents think it is important for the children’s lives to be affected as little as possible by the separation and for them to have a similar standard of living when they are spending time with each parent. The law takes this view too.

Articles in this section include:

Relationship breakdown can be a very emotional time for children. Whilst children will react differently, depending on their age, personality and the individual situation, it is common for children to go through a whole range of emotions, which can include denial, anger, self-blame, sadness and withdrawal. However, with space, time and support they will work through their feelings and adjust.

Articles in this section include:

 

We all experience divorce and separation in our own way but we are all likely to go through the grief (loss) cycle. Because we are unique human beings, it is difficult to tell exactly what we will feel and when but it is reassuring to know it’s all normal and won’t last forever. It is important that you take care of yourself and your wellbeing during this time.

Articles in this section include:

NFM is a network of professional family mediation providers based in England and Wales that work with families affected by relational breakdown. All providers aim to help clients achieve an outcome that works best for them and their family

If you would like to get more information about mediation and/or make an appointment you can contact NFM direct on 0300 4000 636 or you can also contact a NFM family mediation provider in your area.

All services also take referrals from Solicitors, the court or other helping / support agencies.

Divorcing

Finance sml
If you have decided to separate or divorce, family mediation can help you make arrangements for joint property, finance and children. 

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Separating

Separating Couple

 

 

 

 

 

If you are separating you need to make a number of vital decisions about the future. Family mediation can help you. 

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Parents

Professional sml
Family mediation can help you maintain a civil relationship with your ex, and communicate well with your children to meet their needs.

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Children and Teens

Children and teenagers
If your parents are splitting up you'll want to know how it will affect you, and what you can do about it. Meeting with a family mediator is an option. 

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Friends and Family

Friends sml

If you want to support a friend or relative whose family is going through separation, family mediation is a good place to start. 

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Grandparents

Parents sml
Family mediation can help Grandparents who are worried that a break-up means their relationship with their Grandchildren can't continue. 

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National Family Mediation

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Tel: 0300 4000 636

Fax: 01392 911 240

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